Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Chopping Trees and Winning Cups

Don't these Stanley Cup Finals feel like the script for Rocky IV?

The Ivan Drago Canucks are freakishly engineered (see H. Sedin's forehead) and capable of playing at a superhuman level.  Meanwhile, the Rocky Balboa Bruins use a spartan approach and sweat for any advantage.  Can’t you see Shawn Thorton leading his team’s training between games—chopping down trees and throwing logs.

The most obvious metaphor came in game 3, when Aaron Rome blindsided Nathan Horton with a vicious hit. Horton layed on the ice in La La Land, like Apollo on the mat. Aaron "Drago" Rome made it more infuriating by showing little remorse...saying he’d hit him the same way again. 

"If he dies, he dies."

Inspired to avenge Nathan "Apollo" Horton, the Bruins have been playing fearless hockey--finally landing a booming upper-cut in the second period of game 3. The Canucks were human and the B's started to believe they could win.

Game 7 will be in Vancouver tomorrow night. If the Bruins can deliver one more visceral performance, I can see the home crowd turning on their team and starting a “USA! USA! USA!” chant. As the final seconds wind down, the Canadian crowd will rush the ice and lift Tim Thomas, draped in an American flag, onto their shoulders. (Just don’t expect Timmy to deliver Rocky’s post-fight “mutual admiration” speech).   

The fantastical dream then cuts to our heroes taking a Duck Boat trip around Boston and ends with Brigitte Nielsen marrying Brad Marchand in The Common. 

1 comment:

  1. So no USA! chant (actually classless booing), but the Cup is coming to Boston; Horton has been avenged! You did it Rocky! And I heard rumors of a Brigitte Nielsen sighting on Newbury St...